Troy's Thought For the Day Archive
| Thursday 01/31/08 | "If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 01/30/08 | "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 01/29/08 | "Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 01/28/08 | "If I throw a stick, will you leave?" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 01/25/08 | "Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 01/24/08 | "Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 01/23/08 | "Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 01/22/08 | "The man who says his wife can't take a joke forgets that she took him." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 01/21/08 | "This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt. " Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 01/18/08 | "If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road. " Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 01/17/08 | "The Bible contains much that is relevant today - like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 01/16/08 | "I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 01/15/08 | "Don't be irreplaceable because if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 01/14/08 | "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 01/11/08 | "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 01/10/08 | "God gave us one tongue and two ears so that we could hear twice as much as we speak." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 01/09/08 | "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. Hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 01/08/08 | "In the beginning there was nothing and God said, "Let there be light!" And there was still nothing, but everyone could see it." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 01/07/08 | "To err is human. To forgive is not company policy." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 01/04/08 | "Support bacteria. It is the only culture some people have." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 01/03/08 | "A man must be potent and full of desire to ensure the future of the human race. A woman just needs to be available." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 01/02/08 | "If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 12/18/07 | "There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 12/17/07 | "Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 12/14/07 | "There has been only one Christmas. The rest are anniversaries." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 12/13/07 | "Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 12/12/07 | "Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 12/11/07 | "Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 12/10/07 | "Next to the circus, there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 12/07/07 | "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 12/06/07 | "I got a gun for my wife – best trade I ever made!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 12/05/07 | "I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way. So I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 12/04/07 | "You should always listen to your heart – and NOT the voices in your head!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 12/03/07 | "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates from the animals – except the weasel." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 11/30/07 | "Our problem is stupidity. So let's take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 11/29/07 | "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 11/28/07 | "We would all like to vote for the best person, but they're never a candidate!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 11/27/07 | "The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 11/26/07 | "If God has cable, we are the 24-hour 'DOOFUS Network'!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 11/21/07 | "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving day." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 11/20/07 | "If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 11/19/07 | "I've got a mind like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in 37 states!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 11/16/07 | "Always forgive your enemies – but never forget their names." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 11/15/07 | "It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say – then don't say it." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 11/14/07 | "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 11/13/07 | "Never let aging get you down. It's just hard to get back up..." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 11/12/07 | "Never chase after a person, a bus, or a train. Another one will always come along." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 11/09/07 | "Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 11/08/07 | "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 11/07/07 | "Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 11/06/07 | "Have you ever noticed that the people who tell you to 'calm down' are the ones who got you riled up in the first place?" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 11/05/07 | "Forget the Joneses – I can't keep up with the Simpsons!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 11/02/07 | "Friends are like bras - close to your heart and there for support." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 11/01/07 | "All the world is a stage – and apparently, I missed rehearsal." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 10/31/07 | "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They can't face each other, but they still stay together." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 10/30/07 | "I read about the evils of drinking - so I gave up reading." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 10/29/07 | "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it is sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it is $4.95 a minute." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 10/26/07 | "Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 10/25/07 | "A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind him getting excited over someone else's curves." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 10/24/07 | "Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage because they've experienced pain and bought jewelry." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 10/23/07 | "I have the body of a 19 year-old; I keep it in a freezer in the basement." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 10/22/07 | "Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night...'" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 10/19/07 | "A man is incomplete until he is married, after that he's finished." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 10/18/07 | "There are a lot of people who spend so much time watching their health that they don't have any time to enjoy it." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 10/17/07 | "It's the good girls who keep the diaries because the bad girls don't have the time." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 10/16/07 | "Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right. The other is the husband." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 10/15/07 | "God loves everyone, but probably prefers fruits of the spirit over religious nuts." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 10/12/07 | "Some minds are like concrete - thoroughly mixed up and permanently set." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 10/11/07 | "The good lord didn't create anything without a purpose - but Paris Hilton comes close." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 10/10/07 | "I still love nature, despite what it did to me." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 10/09/07 | "Why torture yourself when life will do it for you?" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 10/08/07 | "Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income taxes." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 10/05/07 | "There are times when I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. And there are times when I am sober..." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 10/04/07 | "Women have an unfair advantage over men. If they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 10/03/07 | "Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to weave webs..." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 10/02/07 | "I'm too shy to espress my sexual needs - except over the phone to people I don't know..." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 10/01/07 | "A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I'm glad one wasn't wasted on me." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 9/28/07 | "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin. It is the triumphant twang of a bed spring!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 9/27/07 | "Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad - and the good stuff is out of your price range!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 9/26/07 | "A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 9/25/07 | "Whoever said it is not whether you win or lose that counts - lost!." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 9/24/07 | "I am so damn clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word I'm saying." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 9/21/07 | "To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 9/20/07 | "Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 9/19/07 | "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you're good, is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 9/18/07 | "Without TV, it's hard to know when one day ends and another begins." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 9/17/07 | "Trying is the first step towards failure." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Friday 9/14/07 | "I wrote the book on sex... and believe me, it's overdue!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Thursday 9/13/07 | "Forgive, oh Lord, my little jokes on thee, and thou forgive thy great big one on me!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Wednesday 9/12/07 | "Women: they make the highs higer - and the lows more frequent!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Tuesday 9/11/07 | "I used to be schizophrenic - but we're okay now!" Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
| Monday 9/10/07 | "Women are like internet domain names; the ones I like are already taken." Listen to Troy Roebuck's Thought for the Day |
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